Four eternal verities about copywriting...

Quick quiz for you. How many of the following statements have you heard in the last three months?

Consumers are ad-savvy.
Nobody reads ads anymore.
Advertising has to be entertaining.
People are interested in our brand purpose.

If you employ an advertising agency, or work in one, the chances are high that you’ll have nodded, mm-hmm-ed or “yes”ed to all four.

But here’s the thing. Most people, and by that I mean, statistically, all people, don’t work in or employ advertising agencies.

About 15 years ago, I moved from an ad-folk-heavy part of West London to Salisbury.

Once a sleepy market town with a piece of paper entitling it to call itself a city, Salisbury is now renowned globally for its recent dalliance with Novichok, and matters geopolitical.

But despite the fleeting attention of the world’s media, the residents of Salisbury weren’t much concerned. They were too busy doing what ordinary people everywhere do (and have always done).

That is, going shopping, trying to get a doctor’s appointment sometime this year, weighing up the relative merits of a loft extension versus a conservatory, having a beer with mates, and cheering on England.

Here’s what they aren’t thinking about. Ever.

Advertising.

We’re surrounded by it down here in the nerve gas capital of the world. But other than myself and the two other copywriters who practise their trade here, people don’t go around analysing advertising.

They know what an ad is, but if that’s being “ad savvy” then that goes for just about everyone on the planet.

As has always been the case, the people of Salisbury (for which you could substitute Salford, Selby or Saint Albans) are mainly interested in themselves.

Not in marketeers and their “how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?” angsting. Not in whether an ad on the side of a bus is funny (they’re just glad the bus has finally arrived). And certainly not in a brand’s purpose.

As a copywriter, I find this lack of interest in the product of my trade salutary.

I remind myself of a few eternal verities that marketeers should have painted in ten-foot-tall letters on their office walls:

People are not “consumers”

They are mums and dads, husbands and wives. Brothers and sisters. Grans and grandpas.

They are football fans, squash players, prize geranium growers, lovers of fine wines, budgerigars and Yorkshire Terriers.

They are not Venn diagrams, Pyramids of Needs, ABC1s or Early Adopters.

In other words, they are humans.

People read what interests them

Howard Gossage said it best. “The real fact of the matter is that nobody reads ads. People read what interests them, and sometimes it’s an ad.” So if you want someone to read your copy, you’d better make it damn interesting.

I would suggest writing about your customers and their problems. Their motivations. Their aspirations. Their dreams. And how whatever it is you’re promoting could help them achieve those things.

Advertising has to sell

I learnt my trade in the world of direct response advertising. The relationship between advertising copy, the company’s profits and my own financial wellbeing was brutally clear.

The only copy that mattered was the copy that brought in orders. Which we could - and did - count. Every morning.

To this day, I have no idea whether people enjoy reading my copy. And you know what? It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that number at the bottom of the P&L.

People are (largely) motivated by self-interest

People buy when they are convinced that the product being sold to them will improve their lives in some way. It will bring them more good stuff and/or take away more bad stuff. Nobody, at least where I live, cares why a brand does what it does. Just whether they’ll feel better/live longer/look cooler if they buy it.

To any Doubting Thomases or Thomasinas reading this, shaking their heads at my “gone native” parochialism, please come and spend the day with me.

We’ll go shopping in the market, have a pint in the pub, maybe go for a dog walk with a friend.

And we’ll count the number of people, excluding us, talking about advertising.

By Andy Maslen, Copywriter, Author and Co-Founder of Copy Capital, the coolest event around for Creatives and Clients. www.sunfish.co.uk